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I Am Immortal, I Have Tried To Die

by Oddgod

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1.
I Am Immortal, I Have Tried To Die 03:54
lyrics
I’m sorry to my blades And the way they misbehave (Now time’s been set in motion) As I can’t penetrate the skin That I find myself stuck in (I bleed but the blood just floats) I want to hurt myself But my brain’s just stuck in place (The terror slows the motion) Sound moves to no frequency In the deepest part of space (The skies as red as my moat) Is this all you see? Is this the air that you breathe? It’s hard to believe That this is Earth that I see I heard the radios I heard the terrors grow The children’s screams and cries As you all burn inside But I am too But I am too I want to sleep But I am so afraid to die I am immortal And I am so afraid to die I want to sleep But I am so afraid to die I am immortal And I have tried to die Is this the waiting room? Or the exit door? I’ve waited so long That I’ve run out of fuel
2.
The Terror Of The Era 04:08
lyrics
Infinity mirror Like eyes in the vizor Pull beliefs with the pliers They’re only words ‘till they’re violent Time to reflect ‘till the formless begins to connect They’re against you, they haven’t said it yet But there ain’t no guardsmans defense Shadows come back by the morning And at night they envelope all So you’d better get used to it Or find a modern way to crawl ‘cause they ain’t ever leaving here They are monoliths to your fear You’re polylithic aren’t you dear? You’re scared and scattered, but I fear Who’s the terror of the era now? Who’s the latest one to go? Let’s put on a good show Might be the last one we ever have What the fuck can you do? Chariot of the gods You look down from above No one else can be like you They haven’t got a ship to burn or flood What a nice dream You wake up to reality This blue mask it is obscene How else will the plebs notice their own screams? Are you living life in a memory? Are you enveloped by the past? Well you never know, ‘cause on the world tree You are barely just a branch And time it never passes All our problems float in pause Well if our voices move as they’re blasted We can kill you to your own applause I’m the terror of the era now You don’t want me to come near I’m so tired of the fighting I just want to exist What the fuck can you do?
3.
Death of the Author 04:45
lyrics
Your thoughts are etched into the other days Like cave paintings that have lost their way The meaning changes ‘till it stays the same In the world I make, oh All I see are these patterns The stars begin to break In place I break their atoms A shell that hides their fate Inside I found conviction The idea there took hold I knew it was all planned For whom the bell tolled I never read the words out loud My thoughts are my only friends now I never thought I’d be found out Legs poking out the rabbit hole and I never read the words out loud My thoughts are my only friends now I never thought I’d be found out Legs poking out the rabbit hole and The dense body says: “Well, there’s the thrill. Binge on the spirits like it’s a soup film” The vital body is merely a shield The desire body thrills, oh It’s too late she said, so where’d you go? You tripped before the rocks, so nine to go Well, like the money well, the hate will flow So still your throne, or don’t, oh I am so fucking lonely I see the faults in all The constellation ley lines Aren’t anything at all So I know no one listens I can think what I want: “Hello there, God has left us And now we’re on our own.” I never read the words out loud My thoughts are my only friends now I never thought I’d be found out Legs poking out the rabbit hole and I never read the words out loud My thoughts are my only friends now I never thought I’d be found out Legs poking out the rabbit hole and
4.
Chronophobia 06:25
lyrics
You were like the stars It all seems so small in this Cosmic wasteland of all the things I’ve yet to do, yet to do Why was that the present? Is this the past or not? I can’t Tell where I fit in all of this I’ve clung to you, clung to you The past seems eternal The future is so small The afterlife Seems like nothing at all I’ll swivel the gut rot ‘till this form twists away I hope the form beside you Makes everything okay I’m a spectre now Of marks on the map, that No longer exist to you or me I am the stars, am the stars It all seems so far away The time that we loved, but it’s Not the same, the time has stopped, it’s All okay, if you’re okay The past seems eternal The future is so small The afterlife Seems like nothing at all I’ll swivel the gut rot ‘till this form twists away I hope the form beside you Makes everything okay Simple hauntology Complex autonomy We’re all pushed by this endless wall ‘till the things we did are nothing at all ‘till the way we loved is nothing at all ‘till the world we shared is nothing at all ‘till the way we loved is nothing at all ‘till the world we shared is nothing at all
5.
You See It In Kings 03:18
lyrics
Look at the fortune spent My god How those five days went So put the heating on Lie in your deathbed Look how it’s laid its trap The COBRA tannoy voice said “Mind the gap or you’ll end up in God’s lap.” And there is nothing in your will The TV told you it’s not real In spite of fear that you will die Creations apple's in your eye You see it in Kings You see it in pawns You see it in heads of all the astronauts You see it queens You see it in screens You see it in the ways that they attempt to please Listen to the snake Your god Kicks you awake The world isn’t warm That scientist is fake Hear how they stood and clapped They wanted to be deaf ‘cause as long as they feel fine there’s no such thing as death And there is nothing in your will The TV told you it’s not real In spite of fear that you will die Creations apple's in your eye You see it in Kings You see it in pawns You see it in heads of all the astronauts You see it queens You see it in screens You see it in the ways that they attempt to please Snake oil prophet puts his hands in the river Lose my calm in the heat as I shiver Fever peaks as the drugs hit my liver Jaundiced eyes see the world in a sliver
6.
The Worm At The Core (Ft. FlickItSick) 05:29
lyrics
Ground me In this space forever A forever living memory A psychogenic god Panopticon skull With spotlight eyes And a tongue in the hull That hides with a smile Well if it’s true what they say And I know what they do I feel their hands intubate As I still struggle to move And it don’t need to be said And I don’t know what to do I think I’m already dead So as my memories go I feel their watchful eyes on me As I struggle to breath I don’t know if I can fight anymore I can feel it burning at my core Hold my hand Hold my hand No more nostalgia Hold my hand Hold my hand Hold my hand No more nostalgia Hold my hand as I die [FLICKITSICK] Terraforming terror Ego death’s quite the endeavour Gestate, manifest and tether The ever-present pressing pressure Time limits when were together You’re my nether Friend and legacy. Your future’s bright supremacy Identity is shattered faster with every blast to your extremities Dream and ego meld and sleep Longevity Is the enemy Your duration is hereditary Wait for me Now’s your tenancy. I’m the worm at the core The more you ignore my boorish Aura snores in wait behind your door I’ve a role to adorn you Falling from 17 thousand feet A thought occurred to me With lightning fast dexterity My ape like traits began to seethe The primal vital urge for survival rushing to my feet I lightly tread and with flight I fled The terror overwhelming me Heresy in my belief Before you pass, A hellish task is waiting see Take a crucifix and smash the nail inside of me Drain the poison sand of legacy through cloth covered in enemies Stand upright and declare your might for the land it is your territory Cling to your wire mother, the cloth mothers sodden Sire of the trodden primate screams are seeming often Eyes are are gleaming, haemoglobin seethes I’ve seen your coffin Crush the leaves, smell the air of your unbeseeming autumn Comatosed you lack the days to fall Feeling lackadaisical Fact is, your trapped and rapt in a maze of all your days and faults To feel again, and ale what halts Follow me to the gates ablaze and old what awaits is full of days and all melded infinitely away we go Away we go Hail to the ego Long live the worm at the core. (I feel their watchful eyes on me As I struggle to breath)
7.
In Love In A Hivemind 06:14
lyrics
Reaching I cannot reach you there I cannot breathe the air That you have not exhaled Touching Feels like we won’t again I put my words where my hands extend Like wings over a trench Made their fortune Put on their parts Put your hair on Breathe air, clap out I need you I can’t breathe without you I need you I feel so lost without you Holding, A hivemind with the space for one Synapses collapsing on The weight of our love Floating, I await your call A face to recall An anchor as I fall They’re out of time They breathed it in Masks don’t work when You breathe the pain in I need you I can’t breathe without you I need you I feel so lost without you [INSTRUMENTAL] It’s too late We’ve lost so many now It’s too late What would I do if we lost you now
8.
Time Should Heal All 06:20
lyrics
God, I’m sorry God, was that me? Pierce me with your lights Spotlight on my mind God, in my mind God, they’re online All of my tortures Akashic record I think you’ve been Hiding too long All I see are angels Collapsing into dust God, can you hear God, I’m screaming I need her warmth I need her love God, please listen God, I hate you Why are we this way Will we be okay? I think we’ve been Hiding too long In a dying god’s gut Swirling round endlessly God, I spite you God, just fuck you How could you leave us Time couldn’t heal us God, purge me out I’m ready now Send me to nothing Send me into me (Send me to Rosie) God, just hear this I will go now And if I find you I’ll kill you myself

about

A comfort album, about time, death and healing.

Discovered on an unknown format, floating through space, with nothing by its side.

Written and recorded between April-October 2020, during the COVID-19 Pandemic.

Dedicated to those I love :)

Headphones/earphones highly recommended, I'm bad at mixing for speakers.

credits

released November 5, 2020

Written & Produced by Oddgod.
Additional writing & vocals (Track 6) by FlickItSick
Album art by FlickItSick

Includes Bandcamp exclusive bonus track 'I Loved My Monster'.

SFX from:
Internet Archive (Public Domain)
ZapSplat www.zapsplat.com

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Oddgod Norwich, UK

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